Monday, May 11, 2009

To be or not to be .. that's the question ...

Well to be more accurate, the question I am pondering at the moment is to hold on and fight or to let go??

Say if you love someone dearly or a relationship .. would you keep fighting for it to make it "work?" or would you think if you are constantly "fighting" then perhaps it is just not "right" for you?

If something is important to you, I suppose we all know we need to fight for it. Nothing good comes easy, after all - right? But I remember long long time ago reading a poem that suggested that - i.e., fight for what you want. But then it also ended by saying "but if you are always fighting, perhaps it is not meant to be" or something to that effect.

Let's be a little more specific .. say you are in a relationship. After some time together, the other person tells u, you are just not right for her (or him if you are a girl). Would you go on fighting to prove that you are the right one for her? Some would say, if you love her - you would do everything you can to keep her, right? What if she pleads with you to let her go? Would you? If you don't .. and you say because you love her - you won't give up so easily .. then what about "if you love her, you would respect her wish over your own wish?" By staying on and fighting and holding on and not letting her go "because you love her" - wouldn't that simply demonstrate you love yourself and want to do what you want more than you love her and will do what she asks you to??

If you are going to try and hold on to a relationship - how long before it's time to let you? How hard to try or to fight for it before it's time to let go? When to fight for it and when to let go??

I don't have the answer. I guess we all need to decide this for ourselves .. and there isn't one answer that fits everyone and every situation. But I think I do live more along the lines of this poem I have always remembered from my childhood:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.


Rycerain said...

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."

Very true indeed. I like this very much =)

Syl said...

Hi Mindy. Ya I like this very much too .. hehe. That's why I am always letting go ...

D.G. said...

Well... I usually fight until it becomes painfully obvious that fighting is a mistake.

Giving love the highest priority means (especially if it involves proof, struggle, and the like) sacrificing your pride, your work, your personal ideals, and even compromising your identity.

The more you give, the more you invest, the harder it gets to escape. That's when the escape becomes very messy, and painful. But I would still fight, because that's the only way I can know for certain that I am wrong.

You have my best wishes,
Good luck!


ling said...

if one were to keep fighting for it and the other is not..i think there is no point holding on.

The most wonderful things sometime has to end. Sadly.

Syl said...

D.G., and Ling - thanks for your comments :)

Anonymous said...

' I do agree with that ... if you love someone enough but it doesn't come back to you , it may never be yours in the first place. However , to love someone , doesn't mean that you have to own it . Wishing it well , letting it go and grow at their pace is also part of loving them. Letting it go , it's also giving yourself another chance to love again . Life is a mysteries to be experience and not a problem to be solved ....


Syl said...

Well said, KK. Indeed not everything needs to be figured out. Sometimes is best to leave some "mysteries" alone. Somethings - there just isn't any figuring out. So the best thing is to live and let live .. just go with the flow and rejoice for every moment we have. Every minute wasted in worrying or fighting or hating is a minute gone forever :)

Thanks for ur comment. I will not try to figure out who u r mr./ms. annonymous KK - some mysteries are best to be left alone right .. haha

Anonymous said...

Nevertheless... love is a splendid and wonderful feeling. People are the happiest when they are in love and/or have love/had loved. Try to think back to all the wonderful memories you shared together. Does it still make u smile (even though u had a bad break-up in the end)?

It is the human nature to seek love, admiration and approval from others, no matter how misconstrue their definition of love is.

Sadly, not all love can withstand the test of time. Oh well, that's life. Cherish it while it lasted. Like the old Chinese saying goes, if the old didn't go, the new wouldn't come.

Which bring me to ponder some of these questions. How do you know the person you are with right now is your true soul mate? Will we ever find our soul mate? And does finding your true soul mate means you will find eternal happiness??? I wonder, I wonder.

Bottomline is... try to live life to the fullest. Don't be to embitter with your fail relationships. Look on the bright side. It's not the end of the world. You 1st must enjoy you own company 1st and try to accept new challenges along the way. Most importantly, continue to love like you have never love before when one fine finally found someone. Cest la vie.