Friday, September 26, 2008

Control Issue

Have you ever noticed how some people just love to argue? It would almost seem like the only reason they argue is just for the sake or arguing. Sometimes it gets to the point you don't even know what the heck they are talking about - but they just go on and on arguing their rubbish.

Whoa! Wait a minute - perhaps we all do that to some extent or other, huh? When I consider another person to be arguing up a storm of rubbish - perhaps it is wiser to stop and observe myself. From the other person's point of view - I am probably "arguing for the sake of arguing." Maybe this is what so many great "masters" (Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, James Redfiled - to name but a few) advocate we stop and observe ourselves. Don't be the "thinker." Be the "observer" of the "thinker."

In his book, The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield address this in the Fourth Insight. He says "... psychologist were already searching for reason humans sought to control each other." (p.88) He goes on to say on that same page, "... dominating another makes the dominator feel powerful and knowledgeable, but it sucks the vital energy out of those who are being dominated. It makes no difference if we tell ourselves that we are doing it for the person's own good, or that they are our children, and therefore we should be in control all the time. The damage still occurs."

Later in page 121, Redfield writes "Getting rid of this habit (of controlling) isn't easy beacuse it is always unconscious at first. The key to letting go is to bring in fully into consciousness, and we do that by seeing that our particular style of controlling others is one we learned in childhood to get attention, to get the energy moving our way, and we are stuck there. The style is something we repeat over and over again. I call it our unconscious control drama."

E. Tolle in his book, The Power of Now, also refers to this drama. And in his book, Practising the Power of Now, he suggests the way for us to free ourselves from this is "listen to the voice in your head." (p.10) On page 11 he goes on to say, "This is what I mean by 'watching the thinker,' which is another way of saying: Listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence."

So continuing to practice the Power of NOW in my own life - I will do what I can to observe my own need for this "power struggle" and "drama" and the act of arguing senselessly just to prove myself right. Who cares at the end of the day whether you were right or not. If you think you are right - and the other person is wrong, it's not my responsibility to prove them wrong. Let's learn to let people live in their own illusion while we live in our own. :) For NOW, I will ignore un-necessary debate.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Learning to accept and respect yourself

Today I realized one important thing. Got some bad feedback this morning .. criticism from some people. You see after a recent retreat I took, I felt like I have been doing much better in some aspects of my behavior. And perhaps my mistake was to assume others would see it too - and they would give some encouragement by recognizing or acknowledging it.

But most ppl (in case Amy is reading - people means all of us including me so need to kutuk) - are so apt at looking at faults only and not forgetting the past. So while I sincerely believe I've improved (well maybe just a little) - it was really disappointing to hear people criticize and say - so short fuse .. so this and that. Sigh. Disappointed me for a while.

But then a voice inside said to me and told me this: the important thing is how u feel about yourself. You would know if u are making improvement or not. Others may be still caught up in their vision of the past and still look for signs of ur old behavior. Don't let their remarks bring u down. This doesn't mean u never listen to feedback from others. Consider what they have to say - and after an honest evaluation - trust your heart, trust your instincts - be kind to yourself. I think I am making improvement - and if no one else sees it .. that's ok. I will keep doing what I am doing and seek to continue to improve even more .. not for their sake .. but for my own well being.

In the famous words from the Love Guru (movie la), "others may say bad about me, but I won't say bad about myself." Hahaha.

That's it for his entry .. tata.

Be Awaken

"The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not "the thinker." The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter - beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace - arise from beyond the mind. - You begin to AWAKEN." (from Practising the Power of Now - by Eckhart Tolle)

Quote from my mom

Each person must paddle his/her own canoe.

Moral of the "story:" While we may share our views and values and aspirations (for ourselves and for others) - with the people we care for .. ultimately, they have to be the ones to decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives and in their lives. Hence, "each person must paddle his/her own canoe." We can't do it for them - we probably shouldn't do it for them.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Malaysians - Caring or Busy Body

I am sure we have all experienced this before - perhaps some, if not all, of us have also been guilty of this. What's the "this?"

Well this morning as I was trying to rush back home, I suddenly hit a traffic jam on Fed Hwy headed towards KL from Subang. Oh I know u can already guess the cause, right??

Half a km into the crawl I noticed on THE OTHER SIDE of the hwy an accident. There were policeman and a fire truck there. SO - as usual, an accident on the opposite side of the road/hwy led to a "almost stand still" on our side (moving in the opposite direction). And all this because curious drivers have to slow down (some even come to an almost stand still) just to look at what happened on the other side (or maybe to take numbers to buy). Sure enough as soon as u pass the accident, the traffic started moving smoothly again.

I thot to myself - why are people so busy-body? Then an opposing voice said "perhaps they are just concerned." Concerned? Concerned about what? DO they think they can render assistance? Come on, the firemen and police officers are already there? So why do they have to slow down and look. No, I don't think I am being "half empty" in the "half full or half empty glass" syndrome. The final analysis - people are just down right nosy. Ok ok .. a nicer word for this - people are just curious creatures.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Virgin post

Hi. Umm what do I say. This is just my step into the blogging world. My very first blog and my first entry. Umm considering it is 2.41 AM now and this is just the first write-in .. I guess I'll spare everyone and make this very short.

Hah I just realized I wrote "everyone" above like as if there are sooo many readers. Anyway ...........
b4 i digress too much and start writing a tome .. best end here to keep it sweet and short.

I will be back!!! Hahaha