Sitting With the Imposter Feeling

 ✨ Midweek Reflection ✨

A couple of days ago - I don't quite recall what I was dealing with then - but the thought of being authentic and honest vs the feeling of being an imposter was on my mind. So, here's what I jotted down. I've spent the past couple of days sitting with this reflection and in some sense processing it.

I’ll admit – sometimes I do feel like an imposter.
Why? Because I don’t always practice everything I preach.

But here’s the truth: do we have to live out every single thing we advocate in order to help others? Does a cardiologist need to have had a heart attack to save lives? Or as I often say when I am teaching young counselors, we don’t stop to tell our clients “hey, I’ve never been raped before. So, let me go out and be a raped victim first. Then I’ll come back and help you deal with that trauma.” That would, obviously, be ridiculous, right? But that also does not mean a therapist cannot be of assistance to an individual without first having first hand experience of the tragedy the client has experienced.

But that having said, the tension is still real:

• If I’m honest with clients, some might think, “If you don’t have the experience I have and you do not do what you are advocating,  why should I?”
• If I pretend and suggest I’ve mastered it all, I may build rapport but then I would also be lying.
• And being evasive feels no better – that’s something I personally find very distasteful in others.

So what do I do with this (the feeling like an imposter)?
I lean on the NOW Process – Notice, Observe, Welcome.
Notice the discomfort I am feeling.
Observe my thoughts about honesty, consistency, and integrity – without judgement. Recognize where these thoughts come from and how they shape my experience and decisions.
Welcome the lesson hidden inside. Integrate what this teaches me and choose how to move forward: continuing to adhere past narratives or form a new and more functional/adaptive narrative.

The process ends with action. Integrating the lesson or lessons and taking action to move forward. Even small steps to realign with what matters.

Maybe the tension I felt, the tug or “imposter,” is also experienced by others as well – between what we teach or believe and how consistently we live it. If so, then I am not alone. Sometimes being human is the most honest thing we can offer.

So where does this leave me? For now, the task is simple: notice the tug of “imposter,” observe the thoughts without judgment, welcome the lesson, and choose one small action that brings me back into alignment. That is the measure of integrity I can hold.

Just a self-reminder:  💙 “We are perfect in our imperfection.” 💙