Saturday, October 31, 2009

A "Bad" Dream

Today, I'd like to write about a dream I had last nite (this morning).

I was in a church. I don't remember which church this is now - but in the dream I did realize it was a church I had been to before a long time ago. I am guessing it is the Cathedral of Sacred Heart in JB.  Anyway, I was there with 2 friends .. don't recall who they are now. But one female and one male .. and we were just walking around .. and I went to examine the back part of the church recognizing that a lot had changed there. As I was feeling the walls, I noticed a stump of wood sticking out of the wall .. and it gave me the impression it was part of a cross or crucifix that used to hang there (altho in real life - I don't recall a cross or crucifix there before - assuming i have the right church).  So anyway, as I touched the stump of wood .. I felt a surge of energy go thru me. It was a weird feeling .. next as I turned I noticed my friends were about to leave .. i tried to move towards them and found I had difficulty moving. I tried to call out, but it would seem they could not hear me.

So i pushed myself as hard as i could to leave .. and i started towards the front door (but still far from it cos i was still neared to the altar).  Anyway, as I pushed myself to move I had collapsed onto the floor and I immediately reached out to call my friend .. the guy was just a little ahead of me .. and he didn't turned back towards me.  But then just as it appeared as if he would come to help me .. he hesitated and then turned back towards the door. It was as if he either couldn't see me on the floor or he couldn't hear me .. maybe it was cos there was no sound coming from me too even tho I was doing my best to yell out.

Next thing I know .. I was outside of the church now .. the two friends have disappeared. I just know I got out of the church, am very aware some evil or moster is about to come after me, and I had to run. I looked around for my bike (yes, I used to write a Suzuki 100 ER when I was a kid) but it was no where to be found. I ran around the church and still couldn't find it. Then I noticed a 125cc bike that looked kinda like mine (a scrambler). The key was in the ignition, so I jumped on it. I distinctly recall at that moment thinking "you can't steal this bike. it belongs to some one"  and that thot was immediately countered with "i just need to borrow it. i gotta get away"

i started up the bike and was riding off out of the church compound when I heard another bike coming towards me. my thoughts suggested that (no no it's not the ghost or moster or whatever) it was the guy or his friend coming to chase me for stealing the bike. So i tried to ride off .. going into the residential neighborhood turning here and there into back lanes etc .. but this darn bike was moving so ever slowly and the other bike was catching up.  Anyway, i eventually turned down one lane or rather out of one lane into a road that was going dowards a slope. I thot to myself "maybe this will give me more speed .. and the bike picked up speed.

Just as I heard the bike behind me turn onto this road as well, i made a sudden turn into an alley way which continued down a slope .. and the all of a sudden i reached the end of that path and it was .....

Down down down .. i was way way up some high place and I fell over the slope and now started free falling down .. looked like so far up and so far to go .. and my mind split to while I am still in the dream another part was awakening and said to myself "not again? another one of these drop off? drats .. i guess this is the way to end lah .."

And I woke up .....

I've had many dreams over the years of falling off a cliff or from some high place. I always thought this was an indication to me of how I would eventually leave this physical world. These dreams are more prevalent when I am ill or stressed over something. A friend told me recently that (he said according to Freud) dreams of falling suggest a lowered self esteem.  I wonder I wonder.  If that is the case, then it surely has to be because I have been "out of employment" and feeling unproductive and lacking direction of late. It's coming up to 3 months now .. and guess that means I need to get back into the swing of things and seriously find something to do to give me or allow me to feel some sense of accomplishment once more.

Oh well .. anyway - that was my "bad" dream ....


Good God said...

Dream of falling down is symbolize the sense of insecurities, instabilities and anxieties. It also reflect a sense of failure or inferiority. I assume that this is because you out of job for quite sometime yet you r conflict in decide which direction you would like to head to. Will discuss more deeply with you when I meet you.

Haha...your friend give you wrong information about Freud dream theory. According to Freud, dreams of falling indicate that you are contemplating giving into a sexual urge or impulse. You maybe lacking indiscretion. cannot deny it because it is unconscious! Haha!

Syl said...

Thank you, DOCTOR Good God .. haha

Then that friend pretend to know Freud's work only I guess. Your explanation sounds more accurate for Freud - and I don't disagree/deny! Hahaha

Good God said...

Ya, haha I think he must be some young guy trying to act smart. Hahaha...

Syl said...

Dear Good God,
Wow. Ur analysis is very good. I think you might want to consider a career in being an analyst - psychoanalyst or therapist.

But perhaps we may not want to assume he is young since we shouldn't assume all young people to want to "act smart." And while this friend of mine IS young .. and often DOES act smart (acksy) .. I think for the most part, he is testing his skills. That is part of the learning process. I personally think he shows great potential to be a psychologist. So when he told me Freud said this or that .. I kinda wanna believe anyway - tho I have not read the complete Dream Analysis by Freud. :)

Anyway - you two seem to share some "inborn" talent for this field of study. I am sure you would be a great friend to him and vice versa. ;)

Anyway, thanks for your comments and feedback. Comments are always appreciated here :)