Reflections on Accountability and Connection
Somewhere
along the line, we were told:
“Don’t say
sorry. Say thank you.”
Instead of, “Sorry I’m late,” try, “Thank you for waiting.”
At first
glance, it sounds empowering – a way to stay confident, keep conversations
positive, and avoid self-blame.
But recently,
after receiving a note that read “Thanks for the patience” – without acknowledging weeks of unkept deadlines – I paused
to reflect.
Does this
approach risk something important?
Could it subtly teach us to skip accountability?
A genuine
apology isn’t about self-shame. It’s about recognising impact:
“I’m sorry
I kept you waiting.”
“Thank you for waiting.”
These two can
coexist beautifully.
Avoiding
every apology might protect our image of confidence, but it can also distance
us from real human connection. We might appear polished, but not fully present.
And in professional life, as in personal life, trust often grows not from
perfection, but from ownership and sincerity.
The same
applies to the difference between guilt and shame:
- Guilt reminds us we’ve acted
outside our values – it invites repair.
- Shame tells us we are
flawed – it isolates.
A thoughtful
apology acknowledges guilt (a healthy conscience) without falling into shame.
Maybe it’s
not either/or.
Maybe what relationships need most isn’t the erasure of “sorry,” but the
courage to say:
“I’m
sorry for the delay – and thank you for your patience.”
Owning what’s
ours. Appreciating what’s given.
Both are human. And both keep us connected.
What’s been
your experience with this advice?
Has it helped – or sometimes felt hollow?
Do feel free to share your thoughts, if you'd like, even if your perspective differs, In fact, especially if it does.
Thank you. Namaste. 🙏
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