Wow. It has been ages AGAIN since I last entered here to write anything. Not that I have not thot of doing this - but always allowed one thing or other to distract me from this.

I wanted to start writing again after I took on the position of CEO of PRIDE Foundation back in November 2008. Then again when I put a temporary stop to NOW Services around February 2009. Now, as I enter into another phase of my life where some similar major change is about to take place in my life - maybe this is a good time to re-start this.

Anyway, the biggest factor in prompting me to start this tonite is because of someone very important to me. A request was made of me to write the following - and that has led me to do this tonite.

The subject matter on which I wish to write tonite comes from an interview of Rev. Jesse Jackson I saw on tv last nite. At one point the tv journalist asked him how he felt as one of the giants who helped paved the way (the other such giant is of course M. Luther King) for Pres Obama to be elected the first Black US President. And also if Rev. JJ wished he could have been born later so he may be where Obama is now. JJ's reply was something along the following lines:

When you visit a cemetary and look upon a thombstone, you will see two dates with a lil dash in the middle. The dates which mark the start and the end of one's life is generally beyond one's control. However, the little dash in between is where it is most important. It is there we live our lives and we have the power to determine what we do within that dash. We all have a purpose to serve - and so there is no reason to wish you were someone else or that you were born in this or that era. What we have been given is a certain time on this earth to do what we can. And we have have the ability to choose what we want to do with out lives - and thereby contribute in our own unique way. (not his exact words - but what I understood from him)

I think this is so true - and as I examine my life over the past 5 months since starting in this "new" (now not so new anymore) position .. i had all the aspirations of doing this and that - and contributing towards making a better community and society. Perhaps I have done all I can where I am now .. and need to move on and continue to seek out where I can offer a little back to my world - the world I find myself in. In one way or another - both in a "good way" and in "bad" I am sure I have had some impact on the people (some if not all) i have encountered. Perhaps that is enough - and I have to make choices that I feel is right for me rather than to stay where it makes so much sense because it is comfortable and safe.

Ok ok .. this may not be making sense to anyone reading this - especially if you don't know me or don't know my position in life now. But whether it does make sense to any other or not - it does make sense to me .. and I am ready to "go with the flow" wherever the current takes me. Plus most importantly - I have fulfilled my promise to a very dear person tonite by making this entry into my "Crazeee Thots." :) And I feel good. Gnite world - and cu again soon. :)

Wisdom of Surrender

To some people, surrender may have negative connotations, implying defeat, giving up, failing to rise to the challenges of life, becoming lethargic, and so on. True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action.

Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. The only place where you can experience the flow of life is the NOW, so to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation.

It is to relinguish inner resistance to what "IS."

(Derived from Practising the Power of NOW - p106)

Exercise

This morning I realized how easy it is for us to put aside our scheduled time for exercise when some other appointments come up. No doubt other appointments may concern our work or our business, but come to think about it - are we saying our own exercising is NOT so important? So our own physical health can come second or third or fourth on our priority list? Would it be possible for us to set aside our exercise time to be just as important - if not more so - then our other businesses of the day such that if we have made an appointment to go to the gym (for example) that doesn't get dropped when we are called to a meeting of some sort?

This same goes for prayers I suppose. Can we really dedicate a specific time each day to give to God - so to speak? And the follow these pre-scheduled time "religiously" without allowing for the day to day "distractions" to pull us away from these moments?

With the down in the economy, I've notice (as have many) that businesses are less inclined to spending $$ on self/personal development. It is no secret that many people would put aside this aspect of their life (personal growth and development including spirituality) for many other things. Seems like our "care for ourselves" is always at least secondary. Practically all of us have heard of the trite saying of "We have to love ourselves first before we can love others" or "how can others love you if you don't love yourself" or the many other varieties that speak to the same matter. Yet, while we know this in our head and heart - we (most of us) seem to not practice this.

Are we missing a very important point? I wonder ...

The Joy of Being

Ask yourself: Is there joy, ease, and lightness in what I am doing? If there isn't, then time is covering up the present moment, and life is perceived as a burden on a struggle.

If there is no joy, ease, or lightness in what you are doing, it does not necessarily mean that you need to change what you are doing. It may be sufficient to change the how. "How" is always more important than "what." See if you can give much more attention to the doing than to the result that you want to achieve through it. Give your fullest attention to whatever the moment presents. This implies you also completely accept what is, because you cannot give your full attention to something and at the same time resist it.

(taken from Practising the NOW - p35)

PRESENCE

Something to share from Practising the Power of NOW:

"In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love." (p84)

I am back!

Wow. It has been 3 weeks since I made my last post. How time flies. I wonder how people can do this on a daily basis. Guess perhaps it's just a matter of "discipline" or perhaps simply a matter of habit.

3 whole weeks! WoW!!

Life is still pretty "chaotic" at the moment. Depending on whether you are a half empty glass or half full glass - you would see the "chaotic" as either good or bad. Or perhaps it is just neither. For me - certainly this is some really trying times .. with changes on a daily basis. I guess I need to take what I can from the situation and hope I will learn and grow. You do know that even "Death" is growth, right? :)

Control Issue

Have you ever noticed how some people just love to argue? It would almost seem like the only reason they argue is just for the sake or arguing. Sometimes it gets to the point you don't even know what the heck they are talking about - but they just go on and on arguing their rubbish.

Whoa! Wait a minute - perhaps we all do that to some extent or other, huh? When I consider another person to be arguing up a storm of rubbish - perhaps it is wiser to stop and observe myself. From the other person's point of view - I am probably "arguing for the sake of arguing." Maybe this is what so many great "masters" (Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, James Redfiled - to name but a few) advocate we stop and observe ourselves. Don't be the "thinker." Be the "observer" of the "thinker."

In his book, The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield address this in the Fourth Insight. He says "... psychologist were already searching for reason humans sought to control each other." (p.88) He goes on to say on that same page, "... dominating another makes the dominator feel powerful and knowledgeable, but it sucks the vital energy out of those who are being dominated. It makes no difference if we tell ourselves that we are doing it for the person's own good, or that they are our children, and therefore we should be in control all the time. The damage still occurs."

Later in page 121, Redfield writes "Getting rid of this habit (of controlling) isn't easy beacuse it is always unconscious at first. The key to letting go is to bring in fully into consciousness, and we do that by seeing that our particular style of controlling others is one we learned in childhood to get attention, to get the energy moving our way, and we are stuck there. The style is something we repeat over and over again. I call it our unconscious control drama."

E. Tolle in his book, The Power of Now, also refers to this drama. And in his book, Practising the Power of Now, he suggests the way for us to free ourselves from this is "listen to the voice in your head." (p.10) On page 11 he goes on to say, "This is what I mean by 'watching the thinker,' which is another way of saying: Listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence."

So continuing to practice the Power of NOW in my own life - I will do what I can to observe my own need for this "power struggle" and "drama" and the act of arguing senselessly just to prove myself right. Who cares at the end of the day whether you were right or not. If you think you are right - and the other person is wrong, it's not my responsibility to prove them wrong. Let's learn to let people live in their own illusion while we live in our own. :) For NOW, I will ignore un-necessary debate.

Learning to accept and respect yourself

Today I realized one important thing. Got some bad feedback this morning .. criticism from some people. You see after a recent retreat I took, I felt like I have been doing much better in some aspects of my behavior. And perhaps my mistake was to assume others would see it too - and they would give some encouragement by recognizing or acknowledging it.

But most ppl (in case Amy is reading - people means all of us including me so need to kutuk) - are so apt at looking at faults only and not forgetting the past. So while I sincerely believe I've improved (well maybe just a little) - it was really disappointing to hear people criticize and say - so short fuse .. so this and that. Sigh. Disappointed me for a while.

But then a voice inside said to me and told me this: the important thing is how u feel about yourself. You would know if u are making improvement or not. Others may be still caught up in their vision of the past and still look for signs of ur old behavior. Don't let their remarks bring u down. This doesn't mean u never listen to feedback from others. Consider what they have to say - and after an honest evaluation - trust your heart, trust your instincts - be kind to yourself. I think I am making improvement - and if no one else sees it .. that's ok. I will keep doing what I am doing and seek to continue to improve even more .. not for their sake .. but for my own well being.

In the famous words from the Love Guru (movie la), "others may say bad about me, but I won't say bad about myself." Hahaha.

That's it for his entry .. tata.