This past week, I was invited to speak to a cohort of young individuals in training to become psychologists. My talk focused on Narrative Therapy – specifically, how I, as an eclectic consultant-psychologist, apply it in my practice.
Following my
presentation, one of the attendees – a very bright young man – asked me: “Doesn’t
saying ‘I don’t believe in absolutes’ become an absolute too?”
It was such a
beautifully alive question.
And he was right (even “absolutely” right) 😊
That’s the paradox of it all: rejecting absolutes can so easily harden into its
own hidden certainty.
I explained
to him: it isn’t that I insist there are absolutely no absolutes.
It’s that I choose to live and teach from a place of openness –
gently resisting the pull to make even that idea fixed and final.
On my slides
used for that presentation, I hadn’t declared a universal truth. Instead, I’d
offered reminders:
– Truth and meaning are subjective and shaped by context
– It’s more fruitful to explore many perspectives than cling to one
– Your map is not the territory (a NLP presupposition)
For me, this
isn’t about proving something.
It’s about staying curious enough to notice when my own views can potentially start
turning into rigid truths.
And yes, even
this approach isn’t perfect – which itself is the lesson: we live among
paradoxes.
And our work isn’t to erase them, but to notice, observe,
and welcome them.
I’m very thankful
for his question, because it mirrored something back to me:
That we all need these voices – sometimes external, sometimes internal –
to remind us to pause and ask:
– What do I hold as always true?
– How might that serve or limit me?
– Could I hold it more lightly?
In that way,
even a question from someone else becomes an echo within – nudging me toward
deeper self-awareness.
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